I came across a saying yesterday that said “I never knew how strong I was until I had to forgive someone who wasn’t sorry, and accept an apology I never received.” I immediately thought this would be a perfect topic to write on because it is honestly something a lot of us should do more often.
Why? It sounds absurd to forgive someone who isn’t sorry, right? Well, listen closely… or read carefully in this case I guess! Sometimes, you need to forgive someone for your own peace of mind. Sometimes, it isn’t about them at all, but all about you! Sometimes, there comes a time when you have to realize that holding a grudge is just causing you to think, fret, and worry about someone that couldn’t give two cares about you.
Holding grudges does no good… for anyone. It won’t reverse what happened, and it won’t make someone sorry who isn’t. There is NO good to come from holding a grudge!
I know what you are thinking, “It’s easier said than done, Brittany!” Girl, I know it's tough, I really do because I’ve had to do it MANY times, but I managed to do it, and so can you!
I want to share 3 important things to help make this process a little easier (although in some circumstances it will be very tough no matter how you go about it)!
#1 How to forgive someone who isn't sorry:
WRITE down how that person made you feel - I’m not sure how exactly, but writing things down on paper helps to release it from your mind. It’s like giving your brain permission to quit worrying and fretting about it. If I am being honest with you, the first time I heard that journaling or WRITING what I felt would somehow help me, I thought it was crazy. Then, I tried it. It really does help.
#2 How to forgive someone who isn't sorry:
Realize and accept that everyone is at a different place in this journey - It is important to realize that not everyone you meet in your life will be in the same place as you. They won’t come from the same background nor will they have had the same experiences. They won’t have the same relationship with themselves or with others. You need to note that, and accept it.
#3 How to forgive someone who isn't sorry:
Write a thank you letter to the person that hurt you - Find the lesson learned or the positive outlook in the whole situation and write a thank you letter for it. No, you do not need to, and probably shouldn’t, actually send this to the person. Instead you will do this to prove to yourself that there is something positive in each situation.
Some situations will be way harder to find positivity in than others, but think hard on it and it will come. You could be thanking them for teaching you something you don’t want to do to others. In a break up, you could thank them for freeing you up for the person you were meant to be with.
It will be tough, and it may not come to you right away, but keep thinking on it and it will.
This is so hard, especially when they keep repeating the same behavior. But you just have to keep on forgiving them (while still sticking to some healthy boundaries)